Holding On
by fueledbyedward
Summary: Bella has just been bitten, and she's trying to adjust to her new life as a vampire. With the help of her new family, she is able to conquer what she never thought she could. This is a REPOST.


Basically, this is just an idea that popped into my head one lazy afternoon. I don't know where I'm going with it, but hopefully I can take it somewhere.

Also, this takes place after Bella has been bitten.

* * *

"Please, Edward," I whispered. "Not now."

I heard him sigh, felt his cool hands brush against my face. And then he was gone.

I curled myself into a ball, my body trembling. I hated pushing him away, but it was easier than keeping him close, holding on to him and exposing myself.

I sighed; Alice would be coming soon. I could hear urgent Edward's words in my head as he spoke to her:

"You know I don't want her to be alone, Alice."

A sigh. "Of course, Edward, but don't you think she can take care of herself for a little while? She's not going a anywhere."

"You don't exactly know that, Alice; she's fully capable of making split decisions that you may not know about," Edward told her in a low voice. Could they be in the public eye, around humans? Maybe I just wasn't listening hard enough.

Another sigh; Alice was becoming frustrated. "Where would she go? Where _could_ she go? She's in no state to leave her house, Edward, or even her room for that matter," she argued. "Besides, even if she was to make a split decision, she knows the chances of me finding out are very likely. She isn't stupid."

"Of course she isn't," Edward replied, his voice still low.

"Then there's no reason at all to worry."

"Alice, please. Just go check on her." His voice was barely audible now. I closed my eyes and focused harder on their voices.

"You know she hates being treated like a child."

"It's for her safety. She won't even know you're there."

"She always knows," Alice disagreed lightly. "I wouldn't be surprised if she could hear every word we're saying, either."

They were both silent for a moment. I opened my eyes, disrupting my focus.

"Don't torture yourself, Edward. She'll be fine; she's much stronger than you give her credit for."

I didn't hear what he said to her. I didn't know if I wanted to, either. I closed my eyes, wondering whether Alice would come or not. I supposed she would, although she was always very quick. Shouldn't she have come and gone already?

A few minutes passed, and she still hadn't come. I told myself that this was a good thing, that I shouldn't worry. Edward would have surely made her come if he knew my sanity was in question, so it surprised me I sensed a presence in my room. A presence I knew wasn't Alice.

I quickly sat up, my body tensed and ready to fight.

"It's only me, Bella."

"Jasper?" I asked, shocked. "What are you doing here? Did Edward send you?"

The tall, handsome blonde shook his head, half-smiling. "Shocking, but no. I came here to see you."

_Why?_ I wanted to ask.

"I know you weren't expecting me. I hope I didn't startle you too much."

"Not at all, Jasper," I said quietly, warily. "I am confused, though." To say the least.

"I know how hard difficult must be for you, me being the most recent member of my family to experience it. Before you, of course." He smiled politely. "Anyway, I just felt that there's much to be said on how well you're handling this."

How _well_ I'm handling this? He must be mistaken. "Jasper, I haven't exactly been handling this well. I haven't left my room in _days_." I sighed, thinking of Edward. "Not to mention that I've been sulking the entire time."

"There's nothing wrong with that, Bella," he told me. "We were all the same way." He sighed. "What I meant, was that you haven't complained once."

I guess sulking didn't count as complaining. "What is there to complain about?" I asked casually. "This is what I wanted."

"Well, the pain for one thing," Jasper said, frowning. "And the life you left behind."

My eyes drifted towards the window, where the setting sun marked the ending of another day. _The life you left behind._ His words echoed in my mind, resurrecting a million different memories that I had shared with the people that I loved. _Loved._ A quiet murmur of voices and faces to match. Renée, Charlie ... I couldn't will myself to think of the boy I knew I was hurting the most.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," Jasper said.

"It's nothing," I lied, my eyes dropping to the floor. "I'm fine."

He saw through me, though, and I was grateful for the sudden calmness.

"It _is_ hard," I whispered, meeting his eyes for the first time. "But I knew what to expect when I made the decision to join your family."

He sighed. "This doesn't last forever, Bella."

I knew he was referring to my imprisonment, my inability to be around humans. When _would_ it end? "I know."

We were both silent for a moment. "Edward's on his way," he said suddenly, quietly.

I nodded. "Thank you, Jasper." I meant it.

"Of course, Bella." And then he was gone.

* * *

I know it's short, but I'm still working on the rest of the chapter and I wanted to post what I had. Hopefully, despite its short length, it's good!


End file.
